Love Squared
by NightInGale-Minds
Summary: When the brothers learn that their dirty little secrets are grossly intertwined, Michelangelo seeks to complete the cycle. His mission? …Leonardo. But he's on the clock, trapped in a battle of wits! Can he do it?
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING:** _This is a hack adult story made up of my collective sense of perverse humor. I doubt it'll go into full on sex, it's mainly a comedy but turtlecest is strongly implied EVERYWHERE. You will not be able to escape it._

 _Pairings: Donnie/Mikey?_

Genre: Humor, Romance

'

'

"…I don't know, Mikey…" Donnie said, putting down his wrench, "Master Splinter may be out for the next several hours but Leo and Raph are still up… and I really need to finish up the welding on these carts by tomorrow."  
Mikey sighed dramatically, hoisting himself up to sit on the work table beside him. "Laaaame~!" Come on, dude! Raph and Leo are not gonna show up! They're in the middle of one of their hard core sparring duels in the dojo. RAPH VS. LEO… FIGHT TO THE DEATH!" he announced dramatically. "We've got, like, five hours before one of them gets hungry."  
Donnie frowned a moment, thinking of all the work that needed to be done by the end of this week. There was already so much on his plate and a recent attack from the Foot Clan had not helped matters. The garage was an absolute mess and it was all enough to give him a headache.  
Mikey kicked his feet loftily from the table. "Come on~" he tempted, "you know you want to."  
Donnie looked over at his welding tools, the debate in his head not doing anything for his headache.  
…Maybe he could use a small break.  
Brown eyes panned over to his brother, quirking a wry brow beneath his violet mask. "You're not going to leave me alone until I concede, are you?"  
 _"Nnnnope!"_  
Well, that made his decision easier.  
Finally Donnie smirked a little and sauntered his way over to his brother. "…Well," he mused, "I suppose I could use a _quick_ break…"  
Mikey reached over and grabbed him by the leather strap he always wore and gave him a playful tug closer; a hot, mischievous smile on his lips.  
"…That's my ninja."

/

" _Gee_ Leo, you aren't gettin' tired are ya?" Raph smirked.  
Feet padded against the dojo floor as the two brothers circled each other, stances guarded by weapons and eyes set into competitive stares.  
Leo's breathing labored. "Hardly," he huffed.  
"Ya sure?" Raph spun his sai smugly in his hands. "I wouldn't wanna wear ya out."  
Leo only sidestepped with the grace of a predator, knowing full well he was just as out of breath as he was. His eyes narrowed, motioning a small challenge with his sword.  
 _'Come at me.'_  
Raph took the challenge immediately, springing predictably to the attack and Leo skillfully swung his swords to block him, locking his sai hard in place.  
Leo gritted his teeth, pushing back with all his might. Finally in a feat of strength he launched him off for good and their battle continued.  
Left… right… turn… kick….  
Leo spun around and finally got a good hit in, giving Raph a tap on the shell with the blunt of his sword.  
"You were open," he mocked.  
But Raph wasn't done. As Leo swung his swords again, he dodged, catching Leo's right sword tight in his sai and he pulled hard, throwing Leonardo off balance. And he leaned into his ear.  
"Still got ya," he whispered, ghosting his fingers down the length of his brother's chest.  
Leo sharply adjusted his stance, turning the tables so _he_ was the one unbalanced. It happened so suddenly, Raph's sai were pulled from his hands, still caught in the blades and Leo let them fly, as he tripped Raph and sent him toppling to the floor.  
He raised a sword to his face, his breathing labored.  
"That was dirty fighting," he said firmly.  
Raph just looked at the blade and pushed it away with a single finger.  
"Yeah, well I haven't known many of our enemies who approach us lookin' for a _'clean fight'_ ," he leaned forward with a pointed smirk. "If ya ask me, I say you could use a little more ' _dirty_ ' in your life."  
Leo quirked a brow, lowering his katana a bit. "I'm pretty sure I have enough _'dirty in my life',_ thanks," he said, looking him over.  
Raph's eyes gleamed and he took the dull edge of his blade between his fingertips, dragging them slowly and deliberately up the length.  
"Ya sure?"  
Leo's eyes widened a little at the display, unable to fight a quiet shudder found its way beneath his skin. But still he stepped back and cleared his throat, setting his swords firmly back into their sheaths.  
"Quite," he replied authoritatively. His voice was final.  
There was a time and a place. And right now neither was in their favor.  
He turned away. "I'm going to go check on Donnie in the garage. See if he needs anything for the carts," he said, still trying to shake those thoughts from his mind.  
"Huh." Raph picked up his sais from the floor and walked past him. "It just so happens that I have business in the garage as well," he grinned.  
Leo could almost hear the smile on his lips and gave him a stern, warning look that burned in the back of his head.  
"…What?" Raph shrugged. "I seriously want to check up on him. He finally agreed to give me the upgrades on my bike that I wanted."  
Leo was glad for the casual turn of conversation. Normally he wouldn't have trusted that answer, but Raph never joked around when it came to his baby. And so they made their way to the garage together, the two walking side by side.  
"You _do_ realize he's still completely swamped with the carts right now, right?"  
"Yeah but there's no harm in just checkin'," Raph reasoned as they reached the door. "She misses me if I'm away too long anyway."  
Leo rolled his eyes a little and Raph pushed the door open….

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 _( **A/N:** O.O ….xD Next chapters will be here in a second guys. Thanks so much for reading. I hope someone out there enjoys it….)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2:**

NOTHING could have prepared then for what they found.  
 **"AAAAAAAAUGHHH!"  
"WAAAAAAAUGHHH!"  
"YAAAAAAAUGHHH!  
"AAAAAAAAAUGHHH!" **They all screamed in horror.  
"DUDE!" Mikey's hand scrambled across the table, grabbing the closest item at hand, which happened to be a stray sheet of sandpaper and he quickly covered himself, his normally green face glowing a bright red.  
"THERE IS A THING CALLED KNOCKING!" Donnie shrieked. He quickly grabbed a hard hat from the table, a feeble attempt to restore modesty as he struggled hard to catch his breath.  
"WE… WE DIDN'T KNOW!" Leo yelped. "We…!" He spun around on his heels, eyes wide. Raph acted fast, grabbing Leonardo the wrist and yanking him back through the door from whence they came, slamming the door shut tight. Then he threw all of his weight against the door, as though the pressure would somehow push the image out of his head.  
He looked over to Leo. His eyes looked just as traumatized as he felt. The long moment that followed only forced them to soak in what they just saw and then Raph pushed off from the door and opened it again to numbly peek inside.  
Leo listened to the two wails of his two brothers behind the door and Raph calmly shut it again.  
"Nope, that was real," he confirmed.  
There was a long moment of silence before Raph turned on Leo. "Did you know about this?!" he demanded.  
"Are you _kidding me_?! I had NO idea!"  
Raph looked back and forth the door, his head spinning. "That image is burned into my brain! How did…?! _Why_ did…?!" His brain sputtered with so many questions he could hardly keep up. And then one thought finally stuck, screeching his whole mind to a halt, one that made Raph inexplicably angry.  
"Mikey's off limits!" he yelled. and then he threw the door open, this time storming back inside the garage. Leonardo quickly scrambled in after him just as Donnie and Mikey had finished throwing on the last of their gear.  
Mikey swallowed, nervously tracking back to hide himself in the chaos of the garage, face flushed and eyes averted to the floor, wishing somehow he could disappear.  
Donnie would have loved to entertain such luxury himself but unfortunately he had other problems, as Raphael was plodding murderously towards him from across the room, his gaze zeroed in and set to kill.  
Donnie glared back at him to front his fear until Raphael finally came to a halt inches in front of his face.  
"MIKEY IS OFF LIMITS!" he shouted.  
 _"...What?!"_  
"Raph…" Leo tried to stop him but Raph wrenched his arm away.  
"No. You broke the Bro Code! Bro Code clearly states that nobody has sex with Mikey."  
"What? Bro Code?!" Donnie blushed indignantly. "I-I'll admit a line has been crossed here but I should think my personal bedroom affairs are MY business!"  
"They ain't when ya put Mikey in `em!"  
"Raph… let it go…" Leo pushed him back. "Let me handle it."  
Leo cleared his throat calmly, his eyes locked authoritatively as he addressed them.  
"Donnie… _Mikey_ ," he emphasized, "I will not disagree that what you two do behind closed doors is your business…"  
Raph growled something angrily under his breath and Leo jabbed him.  
"But this is the garage," he continued, "and…. I… still can't believe I'm having this conversation," he muttered.  
Donnie stood a bit straighter, his eyes narrowed venomously. "Really? And you have nothing to say about _you and Raph's_ behavior? Or, say... _yours and mine?_ "  
The silence that followed next was so intense you could hear a pin drop.  
Mikey blinked in confusion, peeking out from behind the table. "…Whaaat?"  
Eyes grew wide and Leonardo grew pale.  
Raph looked over at Leo. "You slept with Donnie?"  
"Umm…"  
"Woahhhhh," Mikey marveled. "What a twist~! So… wait… you… slept with Raph?" he asked Donnie, not quite understanding.  
"No, I slept with Leo," he explained.  
"…Heh. Nice."  
Raph gaped. _"NICE?!"_  
"I… can't… even…" Leo blinked. The fact that Mikey approved of that somehow made everything way too hard to process.  
Truth be told, it was a lot for all of them to process, and the result turned into a glaring silence.  
It was Donnie who broke it. "…Well… this is officially weird."  
"Yeah, weird is an understatement," Raph snapped.  
Mikey was still figuring the math to all this, as though this was all a complex equation.  
"Soooo… wait, Donnie's slept with me and Leo….. Leo's slept with Raph and Donnie... _I_ slept with Donnie... and then Raph slept with Leo?!" he asked, his fingers pointing every which way, trying to get it right.  
Each one of them winced at his words, but not one of them denied it to be false.  
"W-Well... um…" Donnie started.  
Raph planted his face in his hand. "You're an idiot but yes."  
"Great, now that all of our business is _out there_..." Leo gritted sarcastically.  
"So the ones who haven't slept together are me and Leo... wait, I've never slept with Raph... or have I? No wait, that was just a dream..."  
Raph sputtered. "You had a dream...?!"  
"Shh, dude. I'm trying to think... I think we're missing one with Leo. But then again Leo's slept with pretty much everybody..."  
"I HAVE NOT!"  
"Except for me... Wait! I've got it! It's Donnie!" he pointed, "You haven't slept with Raph yet!"  
"I've never _planned_ to sleep with Raph!"  
"Hey what's wrong with me?" Raph asked, offended.  
"Nothing I..." Donnie blinked. "Are you not listening to this conversation?"  
"Yeah, I am. I'm just wonderin' what's wrong with gettin' down with me? Apparently Mikey and Leo were good enough..."  
"Hey what's that supposed to mean?" Leo asked, offended.  
"Guys guys guys," Mikey intervened. "It's all cool. I've got this... In order to complete the weird cycle of weird: me and Leo have to get together, then Raph and Donnie have to, and then me and Raph would get together last."  
"WHY WOULD WE EVEN DO THAT?!" Donnie wailed.  
"Uh, to complete the love triangle, dude," he drew a triangle in the air but paused when he thought about it. "…or square..." he paused, "…it's a square."  
Raph smacked him hard upside the head.  
 _"Ow!"_ Mikey glared.  
"We are not a… _love square_!" Leo couldn't believe those words just came out of his mouth. "…That… doesn't even sound right!"  
This whole conversation was one giant nightmare!  
"We kind of are..." they turned to Donnie, who twiddled his fingers. "…i-if you really think about it," he muttered awkwardly.  
"See?" Mikey asked. "So if we complete it, it makes things less weird. Nobody can hold it against anyone else cuz everyone has slept with everyone!" he pointed at his brothers accusingly.  
"...I'm pretty sure that'd make things _more_ weird," Raph stated.  
"Nuh-uh, you just haven't tried me yet," Mikey smirked.  
Raph blinked.  
Did Mikey just come on to him?  
"Nobody is going to _try_ anybody," Leo says firmly. "None of this should have happened in the first place. We are not a love square. We are not _anything_. We are brothers... Maybe we've had a few weaknesses under our conditions and maybe we've made some bad choices going about them but..."  
Raph's eyes panned over. " _Bad choices_ huh?"  
Leo winced. That had been a poor choice of words. "Raph, you know what I mean..."  
"...I rocked your world _nine times_."  
"THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER!" Leo shouted loudly.  
Donnie crossed his arms indignantly. "I spotted you six."  
" _Again_ , this conversation is over!" he sighed in frustration. "Yes, I had sex with both of you, can we drop it?"  
Mikey scratched his chin knowingly. "I'm sensing some tension here…"  
"MIKEY!" they all yelled.  
"I'm just sayin'… I think we all need to unwind… and relax a little," he threaded his arms around Raph and Leo's shoulders. "We're all mutant reptiles here… Lighten up." Leo flicked his fingers off of him.  
"Go wax off, Mikey," he said and both Raph and Leo walking out of his touch.  
" _Aw come on_ ~" Mikey whined, then turned to Raph, "what about you, Raph?"  
"You couldn't handle me," he said over his shoulder before walking away.  
"I could so!" he pouted, running after him. "Ask Donnie! I'm good!"  
Leo numbly stared after him, then looked over to Donnie.  
"…He really is good," Donnie admitted, nodding.  
Leo unwillingly digested that and shuddered. He was going to have to do hours, possibly days of meditation and training to shake all of this off.  
Maybe that's what he needed right now. Meditation… meditation and lots of kata practice. Leo shook his head and made his way to the door.  
Or he would have, had Donnie not barred his path.  
Leo looked up at him questioningly.  
"I—wouldn't go out there if I were you," Donnie warned.  
"And why not?"  
Donnie looked at him seriously. "Mikey's on the prowl."  
"What? Don't be ridiculous," he pushed past him. But Donnie only stood in his way again.  
"I'm serious. I know that look in his eyes, Leo. I-It may be too late for me and Raph but…"  
Leo interrupted. "Raph has never…"  
"He will. Trust me when I say Mikey will have him by the end of the night."  
Leo let out a short laugh. "There is _no way_."  
"And the second that he _does_ , he's coming after you…. And he's going to do whatever it takes to get you."  
"Donnie, that's crazy."  
It was clear that no matter what Donnie said, Leo just wasn't going to take him seriously.  
"Fine, don't listen me," Donnie conceded, "but don't blame me when you are sucked into the terrifying vortex that is Mikey."  
"I'm sure I won't." And with that Leo pushed passed him, knocking his shell as he did so and he walked through the garage door. Donnie watched silently, knowing full well the terrible fate that would inevitably fall upon his brothers.  
…One week.  
Even with Mikey's prowess, Leo would put up a fight. It would probably take him a week to take Leonardo down.  
…One week, tops.  
….Maybe they could make a game of it… A wager…  
Donnie shook his head. That was a terrible, awful idea, sick by every means. He shouldn't have even entertained the thought.  
….His dark umber eyes turned over the overwhelming mess scattered across the garage floor.  
…..Maybe he _could_ use the situation to his advantage. Just a little.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

 **'**

"Go away, Mikey."  
Baby blue eyes blinked back innocently from beneath the orange. "…What?"  
"Ya heard me. Make yourself scarce."  
"Dude, I just wanted to know if you needed a spotter," he shrugged.  
Raph paused from the weight he was lifting and eyed him suspiciously. There was just something about Mikey right now that he didn't trust.  
Maybe it was the fact that _he_ was making passes at him not fifteen minutes ago. And he knew how persistent Mikey could be about getting things that he wanted.  
The fact that he was the subject of his persistence was something he still hadn't quite wrapped his head around. It was just never something he had considered.  
Even now, after all that had just occurred, it still hadn't entered any real structure of thought. Not Mikey _or_ Donnie for that matter.  
Now, his relationship with Leo was a complicated, different story altogether and not necessarily one either of them were proud of. How it had evolved or devolved in nature was strictly kept in their confidence. But it was a subject they were long desensitized of, old enough to keep separated from everything else they did.  
It wasn't a common thing either. Not by any means.  
It just _was_.  
Raphael was most certainly not looking into get mixed up in another messed up incestuous relationship with another one of his brothers… Mikey least of them.  
That was his baby brother.  
…..Who was staring him with those big eyes that seemed to hold a different agenda.  
Raph curled the weight again up to his chest, once… then twice, determined to let all of this day's nonsense die out for good.  
"…Nah, I wasn't going to any real heavy liftin' today," he answered stiffly.  
Michelangelo didn't leave, instead shifting awkwardly on his feet. "Well… do ya mind spottin' for _me_?"  
"Mikey…"  
"Dude," he interrupted, "I get it. All that stuff I said out there wasn't really real anyways. I just said it cuz… never mind."  
Raph arched a non-existent brow. "…Cuz why?"  
"I said never mind, dude. Are you going to spot me or not?"  
"Not until you explain that."  
". . . .Okay, _fine_! You guys all treat me like I'm some kind of a kid that can't decide anything for myself! For once I just wanted to shove in your face that I wasn't."  
"….So wait ya _don't_ want into my shell?"  
" _Uhhh_ … not especially! I mean, if you offered or we talked about it I guess that'd be one thing, but I'm not gonna force myself on ya…. I was just ticked that you thought you could decide something like that for me! _Especially_ when you and Leo are like that!"  
Raph thought about it and rubbed the back of his neck guiltily. "… _Okay_ ," he admitted, " _maybe_ that was a little out of line."  
"Try: _a lot_."  
There was a silence that only served to press Raph with more guilt. He finally gave in. " _Alright_ , I won't do it again…. Sorry."  
Mikey smiled kindly and Raph relaxed a little.  
"Now, spot me?"  
Raph smiled. "Sure."  
Mikey sat down beside him and began to stretch his arms.  
"...Since when do you pump iron much anyway?" he wondered.  
"Pffft… since, like… now." Mikey reached out for one of Raph's weights and was about to attempt the lift when Raph stopped him.  
"Hold it there, Heavy Happy. Ya can't just start with weights like _that_ …"  
Time seemed to blur by as Donnie watched the scene unfold from the crack in the door, his eyes narrowed at the sickening sweetness.  
Sure, to the untrained eye their little conversation was honest, plutonic and frothed innocence. But Donatello knew his brother much better. Raph had fallen classically for every one of his plays. It was only a matter of time.  
Michelangelo was a player.  
But then again, so was _he_ , though Donnie of a different breed. He crossed his legs and waited patiently for his brother to grow tired of his play.  
And just as he had predicted, it didn't take long at all.  
"Ugh, I think I need a break! …I guess I never really stopped to actually take in how much you can actually _lift_! That's _crazy_ ~"  
Raph shrugged. "Hey with some practice, ya get good at it. But you have to know how to pace yourself. If ya aren't careful you could really get hurt…"  
"Yeah, I know," Mikey rubbed his neck sheepishly. "You just looked so cool lifting that big one, I guess I kinda got carried away..."  
Donnie rolled his eyes. His voice sounded so _casual_. He could almost picture the little ninja doe eyes. All he had to do was put a little blush to it…  
Raph couldn't help warming a little at the small compliment. "Just start out a little smaller n' then work your way up…"  
Mikey smiled warmly. "Thanks."  
"No problem," Raph returned the smile honestly and Mikey hopped up to his feet.  
"Alright. Later!"  
"Later!"  
He waved casually on his way out and he shut the door, peeking out to Raph almost thoughtfully.  
"Nice downplay," Donnie mocked.  
Mikey started slightly. "Dude, were you just waiting there the whole time?"  
"Not really." Donnie shrugged, folding his arms to his chest. "Honestly I'm surprised you didn't just go right after Leo…"  
"….Pfft whatchya talkin' about?!" Mikey blinked innocently and clapped his shoulder. "You've been workin' too hard, D. I think it's starting to go to your _brain_."  
Donnie shrugged out. "It won't work," he warned. "Your game may be good but there's no way it's ever going to happen… Raph's out of your league."  
Mikey studied him. "I don't even know what world you live in anymore, Don. I don't remember us even _talkin_ ' about leagues…" he turned to walk out to leave and he paused. "Though if we were I'd probably say Raph is _just_ where I want him to be…"  
Donnie shrugged. "If you're taking your time..."  
"Can't rush perfection, D."  
" _Hm_ ," Donnie mocked-sighed. "And here I was expecting something more…"  
Now Mikey quirked a brow beneath his mask. "Since when do _you_ care? …Wait…" His eyes widened and he gasped. "You aren't _jealous_ are you?!"  
Donnie laughed. " _Yeah right."_  
"…So what's your angle?"  
Donnie shrugged in feigned innocence. "Nothing. Just… thought I'd warn you to save you from embarrassment." And with that Donatello turned out and began to stroll away.  
" _Please_ ," Mikey boasted, "if I wanted to, I could easily have both Raph and Leo by the end of the _week_."  
Donnie smirked darkly to himself. Those were just the sick words he wanted to hear.  
" _Pffft_ there is no way~"  
"Way, dude. My game is _**tight**_. But…" he smirked darkly. "You would know all about that."  
The innuendo rolled off the purple masked sibling. "Okay. A bet then."  
Mikey blinked. "…Huh?"  
"Five days. You _try_ to seduce both Raph and Leo in five days. Loser does what the other wants….. Y-You want the cycle completed right?" Don blushed and bit his lip in a nervous fashion. "H-Honestly I think it might be a good idea..."  
Mikey narrowed his eyes and then softened by the end. "Well _I_ think so. It just seems like it would clear the air a bit."  
"M-Maybe…" Donnie agreed.  
Mikey studied him and then grinned. "…I'm going to make you wear a maid outfit."  
 _"WHAT?!"_  
"Yep. When I win the bet, that's what's goin' down."  
"T-That's…!"  
"And you're going to make passes at Raph while wearing it. On camera."

"!"

"And you're going to complete the cycle." Mikey crossed his arms firmly. "You owe me big, D! Leo was going to be special."  
This had definitely taken an unexpected turn. Those were incredibly high stakes. He'd have to raise his stakes _much_ higher than mere cleaning duties. But it didn't matter. There was no way that Mikey could seduce both Leo _and_ Raph in five days. It was simply impossible. Raph had made himself clear. And Leo alone was a one week project!  
He just had to play it cool a little bit longer.  
So he laid down the rules. "You can't even _hint_ to them that there is a wager."  
"Nope."  
" _Or_ that I'm involved."  
" _Duh_."  
"There will be no cheating or mind altering… anything."  
"Don't need."  
 _"…Pure… game."_  
"Pure game."  
The two clasped their arms and the deal was made. By ninja's honor.  
The game began.

'

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 _ **(A/N** : Next chapters are in the making. xD Thanks for reading! I'll try to cook more up soon! And honestly I didn't intend this in the story before, so what do you guy think? Is Donnie just diabolical trying to cash in the benefits of all this and for being right or do you think he's jealous?)_


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